Family and influence

interesting enough that when we speak about ourselves, we don't necessarily speak of our families and their influence on our lives... sometimes we speak of books that influenced us.. people that passed through our lives.. and sometimes we speak about the inner circle of our upbringing.. although.. this is the first circle that shapes us to a great extent..

i always claim that we are the reflection of the house that we were brought up in... and i believe i am one good example of that.

i am coming from a family of lawyers.. well politicised.. since i was a child.. after few greeting sentences, the discussions float between politics and law.. my dad was a Nasserite.. yet, my maternal grandparents with whom i used to spend a lot of time when i was a child.. had more colourful experience when it comes to education but they were anti-Nasser. My grandfather, Dr. Mahmoud Diab, who was one of the first few physicians in Egypt specializing in Otolaryngology. yet, he was known in the medical syndicate that he is more a politician rather than a physician. when he was young, he wanted to join the law school, but his father pushed him to join the school of medicine... but his passion for politics never seized to exist.. he was an amazing reader, he had books stored everywhere to the point that we have donated his library to bibliotheca Alexandria in order to let the people benefit from this amazing collection of books. he was one of the founders of the Muslim Youth Association, yet he was against the Ikhwan and their role in political life.. when they invited Hassan Elbanna to hold his meetings in the MYA headquarters after the Movement was banned in the aftermath of their role in killing el Nokrashi Pasha, he told Elbanna that it was a big mistake to change the course of action of the movement and to get involved in politics and he used to say that the latter admitted that it was not the best means to go for politics and mixing it up with the da'awah. he was against the veil and backed empowering women without breaking the traditions. he was a very strict, direct and correct man. in order to complete this picture, one can't dismiss speaking of my grandma, Fatma Fathi, she was one of the first 12 girls that were sent to receive higher education in the UK, when at the time Egyptian girls get their education up to the primary level and used to work as teachers only. she left Egypt in 1919 and finished her university studies in 1927. she was the first woman in Egypt to specialize in Botany. she received her degree from Bedford College London. she was a very strong woman, she had great expectations in her life but society and reality bites. she worked all through her life in education and suffered a lot from her colleagues and even her family. i remember that she used to say, if i came in your generation i wouldn't have married. she had married my grandfather, who is her cousin, but the difference was massive from someone brought up, during the years that shaped her personality in the UK and another who was brought up between Cairo and the Country side. she was also against Nasser, she only used to admit that he was a leader, but she used to say that he is the reason that peasants became rebellious against them. she was a landowner and that dominated her perspective of course. i admired both my grandparents for their will and strength. My grandfather was the Director of Elmounira hospital before he retired, and he used to go to his clinic until few years before he passed away. he wrote books and never stopped reading. My grandma had her own library and she had a vision. she decided to study Botany. coming from the country side and owning land, it was important for her to develop her own property through science.. she implied a lot of her education in her property and things in the land are not the same since she passed away. she held up to traditions. whenever she went to pay a visit in the country side, she used to take off her city clothes and dress up in the black galabya, the traditional dress of women in the country side. she suffered a lot in her marriage due to the major differences between her and my grandfather. traditions were what pushed her to marry him. she wasn't able to manage in the house of teachers (special dorms for female teachers working in a city other than theirs). she moved to Cairo, rented an apartment, furnished it and took her mother to live with her. few months later, her elder brother decided that he wanted to take his mum. hence, with no choice left other than abide by his will, her mum left with the brother. my grandma, who can't live alone in her apartment because it was unacceptable at the time for a single female to live alone, had to leave her apartment, sell the furniture and get back to the dorms. when my grandfather, who loved her dearly since childhood, proposed to her, she accepted and lived with him in major ups and downs for almost 55 years or more.

now, reflecting on their experience, as an adult i understand the massive differences they had. A traditional Egyptian man, well educated didn't make much difference. he was still too traditional to accept the fact that his wife might be better than him.. she was well educated, strong, presentable and rich.. it seems a fatal combination for many Egyptian men to take until this day.

by all means, one can't fail to identify how these people affected one's personality. brought up in an environment that puts education as a priority, very politicised shaped the way i pursued my life.

my choice to go through the law school, was made after many logical debates with my father, who didn't want me to waste my high grades.. and wanted me to make sure that i don't want to join the school of political science or mass communication before i sent my papers to the administration. yet, i held to my choice which was taken since the high school. i thought, it is important to learn my rights.. law education can give me bigger space to choose. i wanted to be a diplomat and i got to know the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, would favour more law graduates because in the recent years there were few law graduates who joined in and they need people with legal expertise and background. i thought, i will sit for the ministry's exams.. if it works well and good but if not, i will have a real profession to lean back on. my father was a prominent lawyer.. if i work with him and take over the business, that will not be a bad option. if i want to work in the media, i can do that with my education, i can write articles and publish books. i can be a politician and read and analyze politics.. with the law education. so.. i didn't change my mind, and i stuck to my choice to join the law school.. a step, definitely not regretted.

to be continued..