Nostalgia
All of us are nostalgic.. we get this feeling when we look back and believe that our past was better than our present.. we think that if times go back our lives will be better.. or if time has stopped.. that is fine.. but when we are all looking back to a miserable life and compare it to another miserable life .. then we prefer one misery to the other.. this is just pitiful.
After Mubarak, and due to the stage of political struggle and loss we are living in, Egyptians are nostalgic… some are nostalgic to monarchy times… to the so called democracy at the time, elegance and cosmopolitan cities in the country … others are nostalgic to nasser’s time and the sense of national pride that he represented, regardless of lack of liberties that we are calling for… others are nostalgic to sadat’s time and our friendship with the west and the end of wars… all this, regardless of how far i agree or disagree with the reasons behind such nostalgia, the surprise is .. that many are nostalgic to Mubarak’s time…
The latter is also normal… but in the sense of we knew our way.. it was chaotic.. but I knew how to maneuver …. But in the sense that Mubarak and his regime were patriotic.. or they cared about the people.. this is nonsense.. I can’t believe that people have such short memory to why the rebelled… yes.. may be we are not happy with the current government … or some of us are really scared for the life that we know and we are used to.. but to just think of Mubarak regime now as flawless or balanced.. or thinking that what is going on with the Dam issue is not the accumulation of bad policies for many many years… and the current government for a year now did nothing to resolve the issue! Yes.. it is from bad to worse.. but the first is not much better… some people who are in denial of the mistakes of the current system of governance are just focused on the mistakes of Mubarak.. and they forget the mistakes of the current government in place for a year now.. moreover, those who are against the current regime are putting all the blame on it and want to show the Mubarak and his regime were heroes .. no.. they were not heroes.. they caused what we are in with their bad policies.. again.. in reality what I see is.. no one cares about the people anymore… and that is part or should be the top priority of our national interests..
Once, in one of my classes… while trying not to be biased to my political views while discussing the eras of Nasser and Sadat.. I ended a class saying that as you can see, when we stopped war nobody cared about the people… that was a simple sum up to the change of course of action of the government when it comes to policies in the benefits of workers and peasants rather than business people…. One of my students picked that line and asked me for my explanation later…
So I reflected on it and I informed her, that when war was on.. yes there were no freedoms to the people… life was hard.. but when the presidents knew there is lack of sugar, tea or rice.. they made sure people have it… receiving the minimum of goods to sustain a household was a must.. the government thought it is its responsibility to ensure that people find their basic needs… whether out of care for the people or to ensure minimum unrest internally because they couldn’t afford any chaos internally while the country is already involved in external wars.. it doesn’t matter.. for the people .. the regular people.. who don’t give a damn about politics or economics or these complicated matters of politicians in cairo.. all what they care for is to find food, drink, health care, be able to find a job .. earn enough money to sustain the family.. that when it exists.. people are ok..and maybe happy and relaxed… so.. in reality.. laws that were protecting the workers and farmers started to change after the wars.. the attempt to waive subsidies over the bread also started after the peace treaty.. so.. at the end.. people are still aspiring for a leader that think of them.. a government that puts their needs as a top priority not political gains… hence, if the few of us were relaxed in the previous regime.. and if many people say we were better off.. not because it was good.. but it was slightly better than the unknown we are living in… some who are in their 20s didn’t know better… that is why their comparison is simply between what they know and the unknown… but it has nothing to do with their aspirations to a real better life…
So, in brief… it is sad when people now say Mubarak was this or that.. or the people that we all know that were corrupt administratively, politically or financially are becoming heroes today!! If we can’t prove their corruption because they were good in hiding papers or messing up with the files that doesn’t mean that they were not at least corrupt politically…. So .. let’s please cut the chase and stop praising the old regime…. The current is not much better.. but that previous one was not good either.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
The Shadow of a Man Documentary
Last night I went to the show of a documentary called “Del Ragel” which means the shadow of a man… it is meant as a reference to the Egyptian proverb the shadow of a man is better than the shadow of a wall…i.e. a women is better off with a shadow of a useless man rather than staying on her own behind a wall. The show was followed by a discussion with the director that came up with the idea of the documentary… and the venue was one of the liberal social political parties, newly born in Egypt after the revolution of January 2011.
Here are some reflections on the movie, the political parties work and the discussion that followed:
1. The movie with some of my reflections :
The movie showed 4 main characters and two or three secondary characters and an interesting example of a man who was just present in the movie as a shadow.
- The first character is of a lady in her 30s from beni mazar in upper Egypt, showing her daily life. The lady and the husband are technical high school graduates. She got engaged at the age of 15… later married with 4 kids. The husband has no work and just sitting around the house or with friends. She does all the house work, raise the kids, follow the education of the 3 that go to school, she raises ducks, chicken and sometimes goats and sheep. This is how she generates little income for the family to survive. She runs the household and the husband is just a shadow. One day she was sick and the little kid, the toddler. She had to continue with her daily activities otherwise the birds will suffer, the house will be dirty and her kids won’t find food when they get back from school. The husband was out all day, doing nothing. When he got back, she was asking him why he didn’t check on her and the sick kid all day, while she had still to work all day at home. His response was… what effort are you talking about? You do nothing. She was deeply hurt for the lack of appreciation and compassion… they started a little fight that ended up in a divorce. She left the house, went to her family’s and in less than 2 weeks she returned to hers again. What can she do with 4 kids away from the father? And of course, it is unheard of in such communities that a divorced woman with kids would live on her own… so her only choice will be getting back to her family’s… so in this case, the shadow of a man is better. It was clear from her story that the husband at the time of the engagement was so lovely and jolly… he used to pamper her and that have gone away after marriage. This lady had dreams to be a painter… her father wanted to send her to school to study and become a nurse but the husband, who was the fiancé at the time, refused. She married because she was dreaming of the wedding, the dress and the party. She didn’t know what lied ahead.
- The second character was a lady in her early 30s from Damietta. She runs a small business- a store for gifts- and she is not married. She mentioned how she was harassed by her grandfather and how she was scared to inform anyone about it. When she had the courage to inform her mother, the latter had beaten her. That was a turning point in her life. She decided to take matters in her own hands and to work on her financial independence as a first step or a crucial step in her efforts to take the lead in her life. She admitted that she is happier not married… she got engaged several times and she freaked out whenever she felt that the men are interested in her sexually. She is traumatized because of her grandfather harassment. Opposing to her peers, she was happy to break the engagements and she felt as if a weight has been lifted after getting rid of the men. She has admitted that her decisions are all self made, she had ups and downs but she corrects her decisions on her own. She is happier without any man in her life. It is very clear that this is one of the cases of incest that leaves a mark on the psyche of the girl without knowing how to get out from the psychological trauma. She herself doesn’t realize or doesn’t trust in a therapy to her case and she went for the choice of living without a man. If she has been treated from this trauma, the choice might have been healthier. This is also a reflection to another aspect in the society of the difficulties in relation to change in the male chauvinist attitude towards girls. For a girl to mention the hurdles that she suffered on the hands of a family member is breaking a taboo. So this girl was courageous enough to talk about it. She doesn’t realize that this might be part of the healing process.
- The third character was an old lady in her mid 70s. She comes from one of the populous areas in Cairo. She started by joking that she hates men and she mentioned that she married at an early age against her will. The day of marriage, she was not alone with the husband. Her mum insisted that 2 neighboring ladies should witness the act of breaking the virginity by the finger of the husband. So, they basically witness that she married as a virgin and he can’t claim otherwise later. This is crucial for most of the men in Egypt and for the girl’s family. It is looked upon as a matter of honour. This lady hated her life with the husband she married. She got pregnant right away and has a daughter. She couldn’t take such a life for long and she has decided to run away. She took her daughter and rented an apartment in a place where neither the man nor her family knew where she was. She started to work in homes but the end of this life was around the corner. Her husband and family were able to find her. She asked for a divorce and threatened the husband if he comes near her she will break his leg. Her family made a fuss and insisted that she moves at her parents’ place. It is inappropriate for a woman to stay on her own. Her mum was nagging that she should remarry. The outcome was she left the whole country. She left her daughter to her mother; she worked in the gulf and ended up working at an Egyptian family’s place in London. She never remarried. She was not interested in men anymore. She made enough money to provide her with a decent living and she laughs at what she has gone through in her life. In such a patriarchal dogmatic system, females have no place other than running away. In fact, they discover that getting into a relationship with men in the community is a lost cause. Those who are strong enough to break taboos and move on with their lives seeking their independence, they end up running away rather than go for the experience and think that one’s experience might be different. Sometimes, this is regarded as a myth. The fact remains that looking around to experiences of others make it very difficult for the individual to think that his or her experience will be different or better.
- The fourth character is a national leader. Shahenda mekled. She is brought in a non-discriminatory way. Men in her life were so progressive. Her father and her husband were supportive of the role of women in the society and they believed in equality. That assisted her to be where she is. This reflects how the community affects the role of females in empowering them and making them reach new strides.
- There were other three secondary characters that showed up in the shop at Damietta. Two of them were totally covered, including their faces. They were speaking about women roles in a very progressive manner, especially in politics and as a president. They were more progressive in their views than the owner of the shop. While the latter was more courageous to face the community and work on her financial independence to have a say in her life, the other two who wore the complete veil didn’t do that. When their husbands came to call for them, they left directly. One of them was joking that she has done everything in her capacity to be appealing to her husband, yet he went and married another woman. The outcome, we knew later from the director that she removed her face cover. She was wearing it to please her husband, so when he married another woman, she didn’t find a reason why she should remain in it. The third woman talked very little and her presence was not really felt in the movie.
2. The discussion with the director:
The director is very young and that was her first piece of work. I thought it was done brilliantly for someone who is not that experienced in shooting such movies. The men in the meeting were not criticizing what they have seen, but someone wanted to see an image of a progressive man next to those who are laid back. The logical response was, the progressive men are not part of the social problem. The social problem lies within those laid back and that is what is of concern to the problems the movie is exposing. Another philosophized the shots more than what it was meant to show. This showed richness in the movie. Some of the ladies in the political party focused their comments on the totally veiled women. They didn’t believe them. They couldn’t understand the dichotomy they live in behind their veils. They only saw the covered faces as a sign of laid back kind of thinking and any progressive ideas that they brought in the movie were just fake because they are doing the opposite in their lives. They failed to understand the contradictions in the community that these women live in.
3. Political parties with liberal perspectives:
As always, what I keep repeating because it is an individual observation about women working on women issues in Egypt. Simply, they don’t get it. Women in political parties that come from the upper classes in Egypt, who are well educated and had relatively privileged lives don’t understand in full the dilemmas of local Egyptian women. Again it is a sort of isolation from the real world. This was very clear during the debate when they talked about the veiled women. If they don’t understand their psyche, how can they succeed at ground level work? They couldn’t break the stereotype of a veiled woman is only closed minded and whatever she will say is just for the public consumption because she herself can’t change the fact that she is just a follower to her husband. She couldn’t break free and when she talks progressively, it means that she is a hypocrite and doesn’t mean it. I might have the same problem, in the first instance, but listening to them talking made me feel, they may bring up their daughters in a different manner than they were brought up. So, maybe this progression will show in the next generation. The social structure and the patriarchal system that is so strong in most of the country that leads to a massive deprivation of women rights. They are deprived of different chances and choices in their lives and not all of them are strong enough to rebel. Maybe it is time to people who want to work on the empowerment of women in the community to get down from their ivory towers and look around them to understand what women really want in this community and assist them in gaining their economic independence in order to have the right to choose what they want for their lives.
Here are some reflections on the movie, the political parties work and the discussion that followed:
1. The movie with some of my reflections :
The movie showed 4 main characters and two or three secondary characters and an interesting example of a man who was just present in the movie as a shadow.
- The first character is of a lady in her 30s from beni mazar in upper Egypt, showing her daily life. The lady and the husband are technical high school graduates. She got engaged at the age of 15… later married with 4 kids. The husband has no work and just sitting around the house or with friends. She does all the house work, raise the kids, follow the education of the 3 that go to school, she raises ducks, chicken and sometimes goats and sheep. This is how she generates little income for the family to survive. She runs the household and the husband is just a shadow. One day she was sick and the little kid, the toddler. She had to continue with her daily activities otherwise the birds will suffer, the house will be dirty and her kids won’t find food when they get back from school. The husband was out all day, doing nothing. When he got back, she was asking him why he didn’t check on her and the sick kid all day, while she had still to work all day at home. His response was… what effort are you talking about? You do nothing. She was deeply hurt for the lack of appreciation and compassion… they started a little fight that ended up in a divorce. She left the house, went to her family’s and in less than 2 weeks she returned to hers again. What can she do with 4 kids away from the father? And of course, it is unheard of in such communities that a divorced woman with kids would live on her own… so her only choice will be getting back to her family’s… so in this case, the shadow of a man is better. It was clear from her story that the husband at the time of the engagement was so lovely and jolly… he used to pamper her and that have gone away after marriage. This lady had dreams to be a painter… her father wanted to send her to school to study and become a nurse but the husband, who was the fiancé at the time, refused. She married because she was dreaming of the wedding, the dress and the party. She didn’t know what lied ahead.
- The second character was a lady in her early 30s from Damietta. She runs a small business- a store for gifts- and she is not married. She mentioned how she was harassed by her grandfather and how she was scared to inform anyone about it. When she had the courage to inform her mother, the latter had beaten her. That was a turning point in her life. She decided to take matters in her own hands and to work on her financial independence as a first step or a crucial step in her efforts to take the lead in her life. She admitted that she is happier not married… she got engaged several times and she freaked out whenever she felt that the men are interested in her sexually. She is traumatized because of her grandfather harassment. Opposing to her peers, she was happy to break the engagements and she felt as if a weight has been lifted after getting rid of the men. She has admitted that her decisions are all self made, she had ups and downs but she corrects her decisions on her own. She is happier without any man in her life. It is very clear that this is one of the cases of incest that leaves a mark on the psyche of the girl without knowing how to get out from the psychological trauma. She herself doesn’t realize or doesn’t trust in a therapy to her case and she went for the choice of living without a man. If she has been treated from this trauma, the choice might have been healthier. This is also a reflection to another aspect in the society of the difficulties in relation to change in the male chauvinist attitude towards girls. For a girl to mention the hurdles that she suffered on the hands of a family member is breaking a taboo. So this girl was courageous enough to talk about it. She doesn’t realize that this might be part of the healing process.
- The third character was an old lady in her mid 70s. She comes from one of the populous areas in Cairo. She started by joking that she hates men and she mentioned that she married at an early age against her will. The day of marriage, she was not alone with the husband. Her mum insisted that 2 neighboring ladies should witness the act of breaking the virginity by the finger of the husband. So, they basically witness that she married as a virgin and he can’t claim otherwise later. This is crucial for most of the men in Egypt and for the girl’s family. It is looked upon as a matter of honour. This lady hated her life with the husband she married. She got pregnant right away and has a daughter. She couldn’t take such a life for long and she has decided to run away. She took her daughter and rented an apartment in a place where neither the man nor her family knew where she was. She started to work in homes but the end of this life was around the corner. Her husband and family were able to find her. She asked for a divorce and threatened the husband if he comes near her she will break his leg. Her family made a fuss and insisted that she moves at her parents’ place. It is inappropriate for a woman to stay on her own. Her mum was nagging that she should remarry. The outcome was she left the whole country. She left her daughter to her mother; she worked in the gulf and ended up working at an Egyptian family’s place in London. She never remarried. She was not interested in men anymore. She made enough money to provide her with a decent living and she laughs at what she has gone through in her life. In such a patriarchal dogmatic system, females have no place other than running away. In fact, they discover that getting into a relationship with men in the community is a lost cause. Those who are strong enough to break taboos and move on with their lives seeking their independence, they end up running away rather than go for the experience and think that one’s experience might be different. Sometimes, this is regarded as a myth. The fact remains that looking around to experiences of others make it very difficult for the individual to think that his or her experience will be different or better.
- The fourth character is a national leader. Shahenda mekled. She is brought in a non-discriminatory way. Men in her life were so progressive. Her father and her husband were supportive of the role of women in the society and they believed in equality. That assisted her to be where she is. This reflects how the community affects the role of females in empowering them and making them reach new strides.
- There were other three secondary characters that showed up in the shop at Damietta. Two of them were totally covered, including their faces. They were speaking about women roles in a very progressive manner, especially in politics and as a president. They were more progressive in their views than the owner of the shop. While the latter was more courageous to face the community and work on her financial independence to have a say in her life, the other two who wore the complete veil didn’t do that. When their husbands came to call for them, they left directly. One of them was joking that she has done everything in her capacity to be appealing to her husband, yet he went and married another woman. The outcome, we knew later from the director that she removed her face cover. She was wearing it to please her husband, so when he married another woman, she didn’t find a reason why she should remain in it. The third woman talked very little and her presence was not really felt in the movie.
2. The discussion with the director:
The director is very young and that was her first piece of work. I thought it was done brilliantly for someone who is not that experienced in shooting such movies. The men in the meeting were not criticizing what they have seen, but someone wanted to see an image of a progressive man next to those who are laid back. The logical response was, the progressive men are not part of the social problem. The social problem lies within those laid back and that is what is of concern to the problems the movie is exposing. Another philosophized the shots more than what it was meant to show. This showed richness in the movie. Some of the ladies in the political party focused their comments on the totally veiled women. They didn’t believe them. They couldn’t understand the dichotomy they live in behind their veils. They only saw the covered faces as a sign of laid back kind of thinking and any progressive ideas that they brought in the movie were just fake because they are doing the opposite in their lives. They failed to understand the contradictions in the community that these women live in.
3. Political parties with liberal perspectives:
As always, what I keep repeating because it is an individual observation about women working on women issues in Egypt. Simply, they don’t get it. Women in political parties that come from the upper classes in Egypt, who are well educated and had relatively privileged lives don’t understand in full the dilemmas of local Egyptian women. Again it is a sort of isolation from the real world. This was very clear during the debate when they talked about the veiled women. If they don’t understand their psyche, how can they succeed at ground level work? They couldn’t break the stereotype of a veiled woman is only closed minded and whatever she will say is just for the public consumption because she herself can’t change the fact that she is just a follower to her husband. She couldn’t break free and when she talks progressively, it means that she is a hypocrite and doesn’t mean it. I might have the same problem, in the first instance, but listening to them talking made me feel, they may bring up their daughters in a different manner than they were brought up. So, maybe this progression will show in the next generation. The social structure and the patriarchal system that is so strong in most of the country that leads to a massive deprivation of women rights. They are deprived of different chances and choices in their lives and not all of them are strong enough to rebel. Maybe it is time to people who want to work on the empowerment of women in the community to get down from their ivory towers and look around them to understand what women really want in this community and assist them in gaining their economic independence in order to have the right to choose what they want for their lives.
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